December 18, 2007

Humorous quotes to ponder

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells

her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters.

Love your sisters not their
friends.


5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and

Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC


6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.


7. Let us be generous like this :

Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says : No, we will
just throw him away from our path.

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in
your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please
PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because as per Constitution,

you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

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